1.3 On despair: Can emotional attachment just "be" - or is there work to it?

I said  the previous section that that I can just love. I said that all I need to do about emotional attachment was to declare it. We must, for the purpose of discovery, consider the opposing view. Therefore, i will consider the following possible truths:*
     I cannot declare that I am having joy without doing something to get there. 
     Bliss is obtained through ritual, and when I declare my love for someone, something or some event,   
    it requires work on my part.

I cannot "just" love my mother or my friend, I have to do stuff to show or grow the emotional attachment. Otherwise, people become possessions, like the ipod or the big flashy car or the designer wardrobe (even with these things, because of the emotional attachment many still enjoy the ritual of taking care of them).  When i declare my love i have to prove my love.  In the case of my mother, I must show her respect, i must listen to her impart her wisdom, I should strive to look after her wellbeing, and must be there for her in her time of need.  In the case of my friend, i must be there for him when he needs me, I should make time for play and I should be willing to tell him the truth even if it hurts.  All of these actions build attachments, they help forward trust and they make a friend or a significant other more than an object, or a stranger.  In summary: One cannot declare love.  One needs to grow love.

So how emotional attachment this tie in to despair, and is there ever going to be hope? Simply put they are all feelings.  But to be more specific,  I'll share part of the story of my elementary school years. Growing up I knew many people, loved three, trusted two. I didn't interact with my peers much, didn't talk to many people. Basically I was a loner. I learnt to become self sufficient, did what I had to, invented the tools that I was not privy to. I didn't want people in my space and if they came I would find a way to make them vamoose. I am still in many ways this person. It is a struggle to change. More later.

* since most opinions are based on ones emotions, and that all emotions are true, the anti thesis to just be is also true.