Taking time to think

I have decided to make this publication a little more personal. To share more. I heard somewhere that compulsive over sharing is a sign of manic depression [bipolar disorder].  I suppose that i am not disordered in this way.
I have lived most of my life keeping my life private.  mostly because my mother in her infinite wisdom, figured that my grandmother [dad's mom] had some king of vendata against her. and that she (grandma) would try to affect us (dads kids) in order to affect her (mama). A little crazy?  Well not really.

In our culture, these things are acceptable.  The people of the Caribbean know full well that in small communities jealousy, and hate can be part of our lives.  This is the case in many cultures.  In the Caribbean, however, people  will not miss an opportunity to share their feelings... mostly good, but definitely bad.

So protection gone awry, I don't share any thing.  Its really sad.

Today is the day that I am willing to share.  And I shall. So listen.

Keys

A key does not have any function if there is no lock. Another way to put it ... Without a lock, a key is worthless. But is a lock worthless without a key? Up to a point.

A lock will keep a door closed for ever, a lock will prevent information, ideas, people, thieves, water from flowing into and out of a gate or door. Thus without a key a lock will protect, isolate, provide a sense of security, prevent movement. Whichever side of the gate one or ones information or ones belongings are it will remain forever- without a key.

Keys on the other hand allow for doors and gates to be opened, they work with the lock to provide security, and allow openings for freedom, keys open doors to better things (and worst things too).  Keys enable the movement of information because they allow a lock to fully realize its potential.

I am like a master key. But  need a sense of purpose to continue. Thus I am always searching for a lock. One that is rigid and diligently keeps doing its job no matter what the weather is like.

If you just smile

I believe that that we can all get along if we try to be nice to each other.  And think about the other like would like to think about ourselves.

I wonder who invented toilet paper

Toilet paper probably changed the lives of the folks who used leaves, cloth newspaper or plain old water. To choose between not comfortable and just icky. Hmmm
But cut down some trees and turn it into paper to wipe our arses.
Changed our lives for good.

Why.

I am a selfish mindless twit, it about anyone that doesn't give a shit about any one but myself.
in all of that I am not all good.
I run.
to a happy place called solitude.
where no one
nothing
can make my life more difficult.
But my life is good, I tell myself
while i do what the man tells me to do.

and that i dont think, or have no idea
of what being or thinking about the other
means.

being alone sucks, being the victim
is a bad place to be.
but how can we live if we live without
life to enjoy the moments

still, i am a mindless twit.
with no compassion for the other.
because the other is happy.

me in my perpetual sadness, with the facade of
composed.

still I am a wondering darkness with a place in this world.

Half empty?

So I am at a little of a standstill, bit off a little more than I could chew. And now I'm sitting here, mouth full slowly, and patiently working my amylose glands to capacity. I feel a little overwhelmed. My mouth is full, my stomach is full and still I want more.

Its been a whole week and I am doing this so that I can get back on track on my other publication. I think I took a wrong turn. Well, not really, what I took was a hard turn. I mean how can I speak of others truly without looking at me?
Well that was the plan. So ill get back to my book. Now that I am full of work, and little time to spend on my ambitious project of discovering me.
Lucas Fontenelle

i feel unmotivated.

shits not going the way i planned and there is noting i can do about it .  should i play or keep chugging along?